So, I haven't updated this blog in a while. In fact, it has been over three months. I am going to try to get back into the swing of things. I think part of the reason I haven't been updating is that I've felt like we haven't had much to share. Probably the biggest news of the past three months was that the students in my school, with the support of parents, teachers, and community members, logged 1,247,277 minutes of reading in 193 days and, as a result, I am now bald. I'll start growing my hair back after school ends in about five weeks.
Today, though, I wanted to share the text of a talk I gave in Sacrament meeting today. I was asked to speak about strengthening the family through the Gospel of Jesus Christ and was encouraged to use recent General Conference addresses as my framework. Below is the text of the talk I wrote, which is pretty close to what I actually shared. I had several people tell me afterwards that they really appreciated my message and requested copies so they could read more.
The
topic for Sacrament meeting this morning, I hope you've noticed, has been on
the Gospel and the family. I also hope that I will be able to teach a few
correct principles of the Gospel that I have learned. There were many talks
given in General Conference a couple of weeks ago that spoke of the family and
the role of the Gospel in strengthening and supporting the family. As I read
over the talks and watched the videos of the messages, I found myself drawn to
two in particular that seemed to focus on helping families that struggle.
Now
let's be honest here: every single family in the entire world struggles. There
is no “perfect” family. We are imperfect beings living together and hopefully
trying our best, but we aren't perfect. Nine years ago, President Henry B.
Eyring, then a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, once shared some
advice he had been given by a district president with whom he served: “When you
meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be
right more than half the time.” As the song goes, we all have pain; we all have
sorrow. There is absolutely nothing wrong about struggling. In fact, if you
aren't struggling, you are probably doing something wrong. Lehi, in the Book of
Mormon, taught us that opposition is necessary for the Plan of Salvation to
work: “For there must be opposition in all things; if not so, righteousness
could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery,
neither good nor bad” (2 Nephi 2:2).
The
question before us isn't “will we struggle?” it is “what will we do when we are
confronted by challenges?” We should also ask, “How can our struggles help us
become stronger in the Lord?” Elders Richard G. Scott and Jeffrey R. Holland
both provided some excellent guidance in helping us find an answer to this
question. Some of the key take-aways that I got were the following:
1.
Be certain that every decision you make, whether temporal or
spiritual, is conditioned on what the Saviour would have you do.
2.
Remember: little things lead to big things... simple, consistent,
good habits lead to blessings.
3.
Assert your strength before acknowledging your limitations.
4.
Be kind. Recognise the good in others, not the stains.
Years
ago, when I was in high school. Charles Sheldon's book In His Steps gained
huge popularity among the Christian community in the United States and probably
elsewhere. Many of my friends starting wearing cloth wristbands that had the
letters WWJD embroidered on them, inspired by this book. In the story, a few of
the members of a small community church decide to make a pledge that, for one
year, they will guide their daily actions by first asking “What would Jesus
do?” President Howard W. Hunter, 14th president of the church, added
to this question that we should have the courage to act on it. To know what the
Saviour would do is not enough; we have to actually do it. How can knowing what
the Saviour would have us do help us overcome challenges? I believe that acting
in such a way that Christ is the center of your life and the center of your
home allows you to have the perspective needed to remember that challenges are
a part of life and a part of growing.
In
the Book of Alma in the Book of Mormon, we read that “by small and simple
things are great things brought to pass, and small means in many instances doth
confound the wise” (Alma 37:7). When faced with challenges, take a moment to
examine things from a different perspective. Then make a plan. What is the
first thing you need to do? What do you need to do next? Don't let yourself
worry about all of the steps, though. Start simple. Instead of trying to do
everything at once, pick a few things that you want to do well, such as praying
together each evening and having Family Home Evening regularly. Once you have
established these as routines in your life, add on to what you are doing.
Elsewhere in the Book of Mormon, King Benjamin offers this advice: “See that
all these things are done in wisdom and order, for it is not requisite for a
man to run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he
should be diligent, that he may win the prize; therefore, all things must be
done in order” (Mosiah 4:27).
When
Joseph Smith was translating the Book of Mormon, the Lord gave him this
counsel: “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means...
but be diligent unto the end. Pray always, that you may come off conqueror;
yea, that ye may conquer Satan” (D&C 10:4-5). Satan would have us believe
that because we struggle to do everything we have set out to do, that we have
failed. I want to say this again: struggling is not wrong; it is not failure; it
is not sinful, shameful, or contrary to God's will. If anything, devoted
followers of Christ should expect to struggle more than anyone! It was Christ
Himself who said that our task was to give up all we have, take up our crosses,
and follow Him. As the Lord said to Joseph Smith during his imprisonment in
Liberty, Missouri: “If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art
in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou
are in perils by land or by sea; if thou art accused with all manner of false
accusations... and if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of
murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon these, if thou be cast into
the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee, if fierce winds become
thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to
hedge up the way and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the
mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee
experience, and shall be for thy good.”
And
then the clincher: “The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou
greater than He?” And finally this loving comfort: “Therefore, hold on thy
way... thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore,
fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever” (D&C 122:5-9). Brothers
and sisters, remember this when you are struggling. Remember this when you have
loved ones going down dark paths. Remember this when you are tempted to follow.
Remember this when you feel that things are as dark and dreary as they can
possibly be. Remember that, even though we don't see them, God has His angels
round about us to hold us up, to strengthen us, and to guide us through our
trials.
The
third piece of advice is to assert your strength first and then
acknowledge your limitations. Elder Holland illustrated this by telling
the story of the man who brought his afflicted child to the Saviour for help. I
absolutely love the way this scene is depicted in the film Finding Faith in Christ. The man comes to Jesus with his son in his arms and pleads with
him, saying, “Lord, if thou canst do anything, have compassion on us, and help
us.” The Saviour responds, “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to
him that believeth.” The father immediately says, “Oh, Lord, I believe!” Then
there is a pause as the Saviour of the world regards this man thoughtfully
before the father says, “Help thou mine unbelief.” Christ then shares a
beautiful sermon on faith: If you have but the faith of a mustard seed, you can
do all things. Your faith is stronger than you think! You will often learn this
when in the midst of trials.
There
is a term in psychology used to describe what happens when we encounter new
information that seems to contradict previously held notions. It is “cognitive
dissonance.” Cognitive dissonance happens to all of us, because we all live and
interact with people different from ourselves. As I said earlier, it isn't a
matter of if we will experience this; it is a matter of how will we respond.
Elder Holland gives this fantastic advice: “When these moments come and issues
surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast
to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes”
(emphasis original). Remember that ours is a faith that professes belief in
continuing revelation. Remember also that the Lord has seen fit to allow His
children, imperfect though they may be, to be His messengers to us to share
that revelation. Our prophets, apostles, area authorities, stake presidents,
and bishops are all mortals. All of them are capable of making mistakes, and
all of them probably do make mistakes on a daily basis. But that doesn't mean
we should abandon what we know to be true or disregard their counsel. As the
song says, “Hold on, the light will come.” And if you don't think
your faith is strong enough to see you through, lean upon the faith of those
around you. We have all experienced doubt, worry, and concern from time to
time, or even all the time. I have adopted as a personal mantra this statement
shared by a friend of mine in Utah: I am a doubter nature, but a believer by
choice. Choose to believe, hold fast to what you already know, and trust in the
Lord that all things will work according to His grand designs.
Finally,
and perhaps most important, be kind. Be kind to others, be kind to your family,
be kind to your leaders, and be kind to yourself. Life is messy. We make
mistakes. I am reading a book to my students called Wonder. It is the
story of how a young man, August Pullman, who was born with a severe facial
deformity, goes to school for the first time when he is ten years old. The
story focuses on how August deals with the challenges of being in school, of
making friends, and of having people treat him differently because of his
condition. August's English teacher, Mr. Browne, shares this maxim with his
class: “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.”
Let me say that again: “When given the choice between being right and being
kind, choose kind.”
Not
everything has to be said just because it happens to be true. There really are
some things that are better left unsaid. Several years ago, Elder Holland,
speaking in a BYU devotional, shared this: “I can't tell you the number of
couples I have counseled who, when they are deeply hurt or even just deeply
stressed, reach farther and farther into the past to find yet a bigger brick to
throw through the window 'pain' of their marriage. When something is over and
done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when
life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have
happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some
ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to heal.
“Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and
improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above
all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the
past, leave it buried. Don't keep going back with your little sand pail and
beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone,
saying, 'Hey! Do you remember this?' Splat!
“Well,
guess what? That is probably going to result in some ugly morsel being dug up
out of your landfill with the reply, 'Yeah, I remember it. Do you
remember this?' Splat.
And
soon enough, everyone comes out of that exchange dirty and muddy and unhappy
and hurt, when what God, our Father in Heaven, pleads for is cleanliness and
kindness and happiness and healing.” (BYU Devotional, 13 January 2009).
I
see this happen every day when I am working with my fourth graders. It usually
starts during recess or lunch. One student says something unkind to another.
That student responds with something equally unkind. They start flinging
insults and sometimes events escalate. Other times, though, the students manage
to get over it... for the time being. A few days later, one of the students,
who has invariably spent all of his or her time stewing over what was said,
suddenly erupts in anger in the middle of a math lesson. When I investigate
what happened, I learn about the things that had happened a few days earlier.
My counsel to my students is a variation on Elder Holland's counsel: Let it go
and leave it be! Get over it and move on. And the next time someone says
something unkind, ignore that person rather then engage.
Brothers
and sisters, let me close with my prayer that we may all remember this counsel.
May we all remember to act as the Saviour would have us do, to develop simple,
consistent, good habits in our homes, to focus on our strengths instead of our
weaknesses and, above all, choose kind. It is my testimony that as we do so, we
will be better equipped to confront the challenges of mortality, to strengthen
our families, and to withstand the fiery darts of the Adversary. God lives.
Jesus is the Christ. "We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of
Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that
our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their
sins" (2 Nephi 25:26). I would add to this, that we write so that our children may know to what source they may look for strength and support in time of trial. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
