Birds

Gretchen has this thing for birds. And fish, it seems. Possibly for tiny little dogs, as well, although this is a somewhat recent addition to her list of animals she wants in our not-so-very-big home.

When we got married, she had a bunch of bettas. The bettas were awesome, and really good sports about being used as centerpieces during our wedding reception. Shortly after we got married, Gretch got a lovebird, named it Maren, and she, the bird, took her place as queen of the living room. (The bettas, incidentally, are mostly on the counter that separates kitchen and living room.)

Before getting married, she'd had a ridiculously stupid cockatiel named Jackie. (Or something like that. I still don't know how she spells this bird's name. Sad, I know.) Anyway, this cockatiel, along with being the dumbest bird alive, hates every male in the world, with the exception of Gretch's little brother. This bird had been given away, much to my delight. Then he came back and I was not happy, but I came to accept the fact that this bird would torment me and he and I are now on, if not pleasant, at least tolerable terms, although he does hiss at me on occasion.

Then Gretch's mum got a parrot that she wanted us to take in. I refused. We don't have room for any more animals in our house. Some of the fish have died, but that doesn't make room for more birds. Then Gretch's mum wanted us to take in her lovebird and "train" her. I begged Gretchen not to do this. About two weeks ago, I came home, was doing some things, and noticed that there were not one, but two lovebirds on the cages. This made me less than pleased. Gretchen promised this bird, named Belinda, would only be here a short while.

Now, I want her gone, and I want her gone now. She has somehow managed to discover that she can hop up the stairs, go into the office, and get inside the printer. Not only did she get inside the printer, she ate it. Well, okay, only parts of it. But still! Maren has followed her example, and today I had to spend half an hour wear a leather glove and pulling these birds out of my printer. They are now locked up in their cage and will remain so until Belinda is gone.

I like Maren. She's funny. Jackie has his moments. Belinda, though, is another story. She ate my printer. And now we have to go get a new one.