Lots of Stuff Going On

Gretch noticed that I had not made an update to our blog since last April, and really I hadn't made a post about our lives since January, which means that there are a host of important things that have happened that I haven't gotten around to writing about. Some of them were because I felt like it was all I wrote about, and I wanted our blog to be about more than just one topic. Some of them were because I felt like I hadn't reached a concluding point that could be shared. And some were just because I had gotten out of the habit of updating again. (I think I set a goal to update once a week and lasted about two months. Oops.)

So, what have we been doing since January? I'm not going to cover everything, but here are a few of the highlights:

January

Gretch and I went to Washington for Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend to participate in the Washington Community High School Operation Snowball event. Gretch ended up not going due to health issues, but I attended for the fourteenth time since 1998. Not a bad track record.

February

Remember how we did our first round of IVF back in December and said we'd keep you posted on the progress? Well, the procedure was a success and we were very excited to plan for a baby in our home. But we were also nervous, because we'd never had a pregnancy make it past the 8-week mark. When we went in for our first ultrasound, we were told that the IVF had not worked. But then Gretch's hormone numbers refused to go down and after a second ultrasound with a much stronger machine, we discovered that she was pregnant after all! This resulted in a whirlwind of questions and exams and medications and doctor's appointments every few days. This pregnancy, our fourth, started slowly but then things were... okay. We heard a baby's heartbeat for the first time and thought maybe, just maybe, it would all work out. But then there was a problem with the gestational sac and the fetal pole and concerns that had our doctor very worried, which worried us, as well. Alas, our fears were confirmed. We went in for our fifth ultrasound in two months and heard a sound that still haunts me: silence. Our baby, at 10 weeks old, suddenly stopped growing. We were devastated. Our doctor was bewildered and told us as much. We opted to have a tissue sample sent to a lab in California where they did an in-depth genetic analysis to see if maybe there was a chromosomal issue at play. There was not. There was, quite simply, no explanation.

March

This was an uneventful month, really. During March, Gretch and I went through our longest time apart from each other since we started dating on August 16, 2007. This happened because Gretch's sister had a baby and she went out west with her mother to visit for three weeks. Prior to this time, the longest we had been apart was one week. I survived my three weeks of reverted-singleness by reading, watching "The X-Files" (which I finally finished!) and spending time with friends. After our reunion, we both carried on with our day-to-day activities: my work teaching at Wiley and leading the Webelos scouts in my pack and teaching the 9-11-year-olds at church, and tutoring on Tuesday evenings while Gretch started some intense crocheting projects, started selling headbands, continued in her church calling as a counselor in the Relief Society presidency, and painting. At some point we met with our doctor again and decided to try IVF again. He wanted to increase the dosages of all the drugs, put Gretch on steroids, and generally do everything he could to create the best possible scenario.

April

At the beginning of April, we got a bunny that Gretch named Myla. She is half-rex, half-mini-lop. She's a wonderful rabbit and she has been a wonderful addition to our home. But we still were trying to bring a child into our little family. Once again, our lives became centered on preparing for our second round of in vitro fertilisation. Just as before, Gretch had to receive daily and nightly injections of Lupron, Menopur, and Bravelle. Once again, we monitored health and went in for numerous appointments. Ultrasounds followed by more ultrasounds. Near the end, we learned that Gretch had 21 mature eggs! This was awesome, and we allowed ourselves a hint of hope for finally having our wish, our dream, our fervent prayer to bring a child into our family made a reality.

May

On the first weekend of May, we drove to Noblesville, Indiana, for the third time to start the IVF procedure. Just as before, Gretch was taken in for surgery, during which time the doctor retrieved as many of her eggs as possible and prepared them for fertilization. I waited. And waited. After about 45 minutes or so, the doctor came out and let me know the results: he was only able to retrieve seven mature eggs. Gretch's ovaries tend to hang out in the wrong spot, making it nearly impossible to reach. Still, seven eggs was better than three, and we continued to hope as we waited for our Sunday morning phone call to tell us what to do next. The call came and we were met with yet another disappointment: it turned out that there were only two mature eggs and neither one was viable after fertilisation. Our second round of IVF was a failure. We were heartbroken. We were upset. We were bewildered. Our doctor echoed our feelings. He told us that he had consulted every single doctor, nurse, and specialist he knew about our case and nobody could figure out why we have had such difficulties with pregnancies. I was so very, very, very grateful for his candidness and honesty. It is so easy for doctor's to come up with a non-answer. Dr. Jarrett never did that. And then we had to make a decision: what do we do next? With medical bills mounting, a move this summer looming, and all sorts of unknowns, we decided to just stop. For now. We are taking a one-year hiatus from trying to bring a child to our family. After a year, we will exam our options, talk to each other, our doctor, and God, and try to figure out what we should do. But for now, we are going to focus on us: paying down debts, improving our marriage, pursuing our hobbies.

June

With June came the end of the school year for me. Actually, school ended on May 28, but I spent the first two weeks of June teaching a STEM enrichment camp class on building bridges. Then I spent the third week of June attending the University of Illinois' Chancellor's Academy, which was a weeklong professional development workshop for K-12 teachers in Champaign and Urbana. Both events were wonderful, but when they were done, I was ready for a break!

Last weekend, we traveled to Washington to visit my parents and spend time with some of my older brothers. One came up from St. Louis, Missouri, the other came down from Michigan City, Indiana. We went fishing, played games, talked, and enjoyed one another's company. Then we came back home on Sunday afternoon.

Today has been day two of my two-week summer vacation. Then I am going to Youngstown, New York, to spend a week aboard the EPA R/V Lake Guardian, participating in weeklong workshop learning about the ecology of the Great Lakes through exploration of Lake Ontario. I have never done anything like this before, and I have absolutely no idea what to expect from it! I'll get back and have four days before I head off to Charleston, Illinois, for the Cebrin Goodman Teen Institute at Eastern Illinois University for a week. I'll get back from that and have four days before going to a two-day conference in town for new teachers. Three days later, Gretch and I are moving to Winfield Village! By then it will be August and I will be all set for preparing for the new school year.

Like I said, my vacation is going to be all of two weeks. During these two weeks, we are going to be doing a lot of packing and cleaning around the house, since we won't have much time to do it once I start my marathon of workshops and conferences!

Comments

Amy Marie said…
I'm glad you updated! I enjoy reading your blog. I know you are taking a break, but if you end up having to come to Indy for appointments you are more than welcome to stay with us rather than drive back and forth. We would love to help any way we can!

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