Enjoyment

The other day I was talking on Facebook about my hilarious adventures in looking for part-time summer work, most notably the fake job interview I went to in the morning. I guess it would be more accurate to describe it as a non-existent interview for a most-likely fake job, but whatever. In the course of the discussion, a dear family friend suggested I go into business for myself doing cleaning.

I apparently never told her or her husband about the cleaning business that Gretch and I had owned for a year, run for about six months longer than that, and worked for for the course of three years total. I explained that, having been there and done that, I was never going to do it again.

My father-in-law was surprised by my determination to never again own a cleaning business, particularly since I had seemingly enjoyed it when I did.

Here's the thing: I did enjoy being a small business owner. I did enjoy having a cleaning business. Despite the headaches, the heartaches, the stress, and the frequent desire to just fire all but three employees, I liked what I was doing and I was doing what I liked as a business owner.

But I also knew that being an entrepreneur was not my passion. That has been, and always will be, education. It is what I want to do more than anything else, and it is what I am doing now. I may not have a full-time job as an educator, but I am an educator nonetheless.

There are many things in my life that I have enjoyed doing, but that doesn't mean I want to do them for the rest of my life, nor even that I want to do them again. And since I am currently biding my time waiting for job interviews and there are only so many new jobs for which I can apply in any given day, I thought I'd make a list of some things that fall under this category of "it was enjoyable but never again."

• School. I'm not talking about school in general. I am talking about each progressive element. Kindergarten was awesome when I was a kindergartner, but I certainly have no desire to be in kindergarten again. This is true for high school in general, as well.
• Being a paper carrier. I loved doing this. I learned much about the early morning sky, the peace and calm before the sun rises, the beauty of when the sun crests the horizon. I loved being alone with my thoughts. I loved being able to interact with my customers. But to be an early morning paper carrier again? No, thank you!
• Serving a full-time mission. These two years were incredibly enjoyable years of my life. I learned so much, I developed in so many ways, and I came to better understand my own beliefs as well as the beliefs of others. It was a great experience that I would never exchange for anything. I enjoyed being with the crazy desert folk of southern California, of working with men and women devoted to the gospel of Christ, and of just being somewhere different from Illinois. I loved my mission. But I also knew when I was done. I would like to serve a mission with Gretch when we are old and retired, but it won't be the same thing that I did when I was a young single adult. I know people who have said they'd love to do it again. I am not one of those people.
• Having long curly hair. I love my curls as they are now. I loved them when they were insanely long, It was so fun to have shoulder-length hair that was super curly. I enjoyed the stares of others, the desire of old ladies to touch my hair, and the attention they brought me. But I also knew that I would get my hair cut and, when I did, I probably would not return to the length I had before. Maybe I will some day, but I really, really doubt that.
• Student teaching. What a wonderful experience! Working with an experienced educator, learning from her (I didn't have any male cooperating teachers), and getting to know new schools, new people, new systems. I wish I had kept a better log of my experiences as a student teacher. I have reflective journal entries that I wrote for classes, but I don't think they are as open as I would have liked them to be. But now that I am a certified teacher, I have put those experiences behind me.
• Substitute teaching. This is something I still do, and something that I enjoy immensely. Even though there have been rough days, I have loved every moment of my job. If I were to work as a substitute teacher for the rest of my professional life, I would find joy in it every day. That being said, I am anxious to have a classroom of my own. I want the experiences of being in the same place every day, working with the same people, seeing the same students grow and then move on year after year after year. Subbing is something I enjoy now, will enjoy in the future but once that phase of my life is past, I will be ready to move on.

And that there is the crux of it. I am one who easily transitions from one thing to the next. I love what I do while I do it but when it is time to move on, I move on. I have some regrets in my life, but not many. Life is too short to wallow in regretting what can't be changed. Live in the moment with an eye toward the future. Be there. Have fun. Choose your attitude. Make their day (and your own). That is how I find enjoyment in my life. Happy Tuesday!